So you want to know how to approach a girl you don’t know, and most probably you are referring to the process of approaching a girl in public places like libraries, cafes, malls, etc.. Or maybe you are just interested in learning how to approach that girl who is in your college, as in not in your class which means more embarassement and anxiety! …Whatever the case, read on – I will give you a method, surely.
How To Approach A Girl You Don’t Know
Basically, the method for cold approaching a girl in public places (or in college) involves these steps:
- Approaching and saying something to strike up a conversation
- Introducing yourself to her and getting her name (You know, I actually think that this step is optional when you really get good at improvising a conversation)
- Vibing
- Leading
These are “approximate” steps on approaching a girl, of course. I haven’t yet made a concrete system by the time this article was written, but the steps are pretty much the ones I’ve described.
How To Approach A Girl In College You Don’t Know
Okay, how to approach a girl you don’t know in college… I know that some of you guys might be interested.
Here is an example:
A girl is sitting on a bench. Let’s say it is a college campus. You go up to her DIRECTLY with an open, friendly vibe (well, actually depending on how receptive that girl feels at that moment, you may get away with a closed body language – girls aren’t always mean).
- “Hey, I think you are cute”
- “*she smiles*…Thanks
” - “I’d like to know you… I’m John. Your name?”
- “Uhmmm. Sarah ”
At this moment, by the way, she might start asking you questions already, especially if you approached her super directly and with full confidence. Her questions will make the interaction flow with more ease.
If not, then just tell her again the reason you approached her. For example,
- “I just saw you from over there and decided to approach you because you are cute and I have a thing for cute things.”
Sounds boring? Well, interestingly, a pick up does not always have to be super flashy and witty. In fact, with some girls if you are too witty, they will run away because they will feel like you are too much for them and are just there to make fun of them (know the limits).
What to do after that? Well, you are asking me how to talk to girls right now, and the answer is … just vibe. Find commonalities. Tell her about yourself (Girls WANT YOU to tell THEM more about YOUR WORLD), etc.. and then lead.
Exchange phone numbers, if you really want to, although I would not even think about it and rather focus on taking her out for a cup of coffee or something similar to that. Just be normal and cool – and with that everything will work out.
How to approach a cute girl in Public
Here is an interesting thing… guys who ask me “how to approach a cute girl in public” are all thinking of the “safe” types of approaches.
Well, here is how I approached a girl near a restaurant, in front of everyone:
*I saw her walking towards my direction* (She is a *moving set*, which means that it will be *harder* to stop her)
*I point my finger at her and shout:*
-CHOCOLATE!!
*she was about to say NO as her auto-response, but once she heard the words, she stopped…*
-eh? : )
-I know you like … chocolate .
That’s when she is hooked. It was an interesting way to start a conversation. It definitely wasn’t the same as some street bums approach girls…
That’s why she stopped. That’s why she *hooked*.
Now, here is what I advise those guys who want to approach cute girls in public.
1.Be LOUD, but be smiling. Being loud, surprisingly, is LESS WEIRD than being silent. Try it yourself. The reason why it is less weird is because when you shout with a smile on your face it communicates that you are not afraid of the environment, and that you are AT EASE with the environment. It communicates that this environment is YOURS, and that you *belong to the territory and are safe to talk to* (sorry for the weird analogy, but that’s basically what it is if you were to talk in biological terms, right?).
2. Depending on the environment, you will want to *calibrate* the strength of your voice. Does it seem that she is walking down the street daydreaming or too occupied with some boring daily job thoughts? If that is the case, YELL! (Keep a smile, though!) Yell, otherwise she won’t notice you.
However, if she is just sitting on a couch, I recommend that you approach her VERY CLOSELY, with a smile on your face, and just say… “Hi”. I could tell you more why going VERY CLOSE is less weird than standing from a distance… but you get the drill.
You can try talking to girls from a distance – I found that I lose some girls that way, as they find it *weird* subconsciously or something, the dynamics get weird very fast. I mean, you are approaching her because you like her, so why don’t you get more intimate? She will tell you when it is *too close*.
Of course, there is a limit to everything, but I dare you to test these limits – I guarantee that 90% of the time your approach is just too *timid*, and thus, *weird*.
Safer approach usually means less Attraction from the approach. Girls love bold guys.
Now that you know the steps, it is time to take action!
Write the stuff down and go out somewhere (cafes, malls, whatever). Try what I just told you to do. It will work for sure.
i am a cool guy and as such i shy of speaking to ladies. because of that i don’t even have a girl friend. i don’t know what to do!
It took me 3 months back in the days to overcome shyness with women and finally get the willpower to start talking to them.
Best is to start.
what are the things that makes gal to feel interested in me as a boy?